Even though this is my first punny title based off a John Grisham novel that was made into a full length feature film featuring none other than Sandra Fuckin’ Bullock, I come here with some very very serious news. You see, I eat falafel a lot. Like, at least twice a week and usually from Oasis falafel cafe right off the Bedford L stop. This day (a few weeks ago), my coworker buddies wanted to try this staple in the west village. I must attest: this was the best falafel I have ever had. Move over Mamoun’s.

The place was so packed, something I think is quite constant, that we ate on the concrete outside. We all rocked the Mixed Falafel Platter. I contains all three of their falafel flavors (green, red and harissa) and this lovely dish is accompanied by hummus, tabouli and israeli salad. The salad rocked my socks off. The spicy harissa was my favorite of the falafel bunches and the 3 sauces they included allow you to combine whatever spices your chickpea lovin’ heart desires.

Yeah, I know this post had 0 meat in it but I loved this place so much I just had to highly recommend it.

Oh hello. Hi. I made a post. I had a burger at Park on 10th Avenue today for lunch with Eli, Matt and Julia. It was delicious. My medium-rare goodness came topped with gruyere and bacon served on an English muffin. The burger was deliciously seasoned and extremely moist. The bottom muffin however, could not deal with the juices oozing from this messy beast and thus became a sad, soggy piece of bread. The bacon was thickly cut and had a great flavor with the meat. If only the bun was more substantial and held everything together better I would be singing this burger’s praises. The fries were tossed with rosemary and if you are a restaurant and aren’t doing this, you are an idiot. They were slightly undercooked but I was willing to overlook that fact. The burger was $11 with a buck each for the toppings. I’ve had a lot worse for $13 in NYC and while messy, I must say I savored every bite.

Those were the first words I uttered aloud when I saw the photos for this whole chicken in a can (via food network humor).  I don’t know who I feel more sorry for, the employees at Sweet Sue for churning out such a diabolical product or the sad semblance of a child in that photo anxiously awaiting to devour it.  Once she finished cooking it (15 minutes @ 475 degrees), it still looked raw.

For the struggling anoxerics out there, just print this out and stare at it (just like those virgins with their STD books!). To the rest of you, sorry for posting this around lunchtime.

First off, my apologies to the 3 of your who have this site in your RSS Reader.  To say I’ve been lazy with this site is an understatement.  I could mention how my full-time job got super busy or mention the few side projects I’ve been working on, but that wouldn’t detract from the fact that I have been neglecting my duties here.  I am sorry. There, I said it. Let’s move on shall we?

I am not a wordsmith as you know, instead relying on my fancy pictures to do the food I eat justice. As you also may know, my simple food descriptions like “awesome” and “delicious” do absolutely nothing when it comes to reviewing a restaurant. It’s become all too clear that I should have taken more English writing electives in college.

I went to Co. with my coworkers today and finally brought a camera with me when out dining.  Granted it was with my Canon 20D from work and the crappy stock lens it comes with but it’s better than no pictures or blogpost at all (right? right?!!). Rather than explain my delicious meal, I am just going to post the images and captions of what exactly we ate.  It was awesome and delicious though.

Butter Lettuce Salad: Roasted butternut squash, pumpkin seeds, lemon and olive oil

Radicchio Salad: Shiitake, taleggio cheese, balsamic and olive oil

Stracciatella: Crushed tomato, black pepper, stracciatella, arugula

Flambe: Bechamel, parmesan, buffalo mozzarella, caramelized onions, lardons

Popeye: Pecorino, gruyere, buffalo mozzarella, spinach, black pepper, garlic

It was great. Go to Co.

Good buddy and coworker of mine Emily Silman just offered me a reservation on Monday to Momofuku Ko! Getting a reservation at Ko is harder than a comic book nerd on line for the Watchmen movie. Seriously, you need to login a week prior to get a seating at the counter-only restaurant. 7 courses of pork here I come.

Full report on Tuesday!

UPDATE: So I emailed Ko ahead of time to see if photography was allowed and they said no! Sadly I cannot capture this evening’s events with my lens and I am bummed but still excited as heck for some pork buns.

“This made my trip to Japan worthwhile.” - Tom Censani. 6:07 am

That was what I thought midway through my breakfast sushi meal at the fish market. I heard that if you are a daring person, having sushi in the morning at the Tsukiji Fish Market will be the freshest sushi you will ever experience your entire life. Me being a typically daring person (in terms of food at least) decided this was a no brainer. Deciding a place on the other hand was harder.

Walking around after my market tour, I saw a large line outside a tiny counter-only sushi restaurant. It was freezing out and I asked the lady what the deal was. She said it was a 3000 yen 7 course meal or a 4500 yen 10 course meal. Strapped for cash, I sadly had to accept the $30 course and was then told I had to wait outside with everyone for an hour and a half in the cold. Slowly freezing, I gently complied. My mantra was that if the locals were willing to wait on line for over an hour, this place had to be amazing. My mantra definitely did not fail me.

I cannot stress how cramped this place was. The tiny 12 person counter had to shift whenever someone was moving to get out as they had to rub against everyone’s back. The people didn’t speak a trace of English making this one of the more awkward eating interactions in Japan. The workers and customers were very friendly though and it was wild seeing two teenagers next to me drinking Asahi beers at 5 in the morning.

Everything was super fresh. Egg which I normally don’t eat in terms of sushi was outstandingly delicious. They make a huge brick of it and just slice it into smaller pieces before topping it on the soft and fluffy rice. The tuna portion was gigantic (look at that long red strip!) melting immediately in the mouth and was so very, very moist. The miso soup had a surprisingly large portion of crunchy octopus in it that somehow retained it’s flavor mixed in with the brothy soup. The photos are not exaggerating with the size of the portions. My only regret was not having enough for the 10 course menu which would have consisted of a sashimi tuna roll that looked out of this world. Awkward language barrier interactions aside, I did leave extremely satisfied knowing that this restaurant would be the finest sushi I would ever have my entire life.

Julia, Dria and myself all headed to this awesome arepa bar for lunch today and it totally blew me away.

Julseas rocked the butternut squash soup and got the arepa de pollo (top pic).

Dria, being all ladylike, got the salad and an arepa and I ordered the arepa de pollo and beef empanada. Go to this place immediately.

Still slightly jetlagged and excited to head to one of the main points of interest on my trip, I trekked on over to Tsukiji Fish Market at 4am. Just a 15 minute walk from my hotel, the fish market is one of the largest in the world and their massive tuna auctions draw a huge crowd of tourists every morning. I didn’t realize how large the market was until I got there. Sure enough, it’s faintly lit labyrinths posed a threat to locating the tuna auctions that occur at 4:30 in the morning and I could not locate them.

Instead I made up my time by scouring the marketplace looking at all the fascinating and GIGANTIC fish. See those mussels above? Each one was the size of my entire arm, I kid you not.

Besides the stalls where individual merchants sold their fresh goods, the back of the market held all the auctions. Directly above is an auction taking place for a smaller, non-tuna fish. There is a lot of undecipherable yelling and the most important thing is to not be in any of their way. These men have a job to do and tourists have been impeding auctions so much the next day during my trip tourists were banned from attending the tuna auctions for a whole week.

These are the carts the fish dudes used to deliver the winning fish to the stalls throughout the fish market. They are very maneuverable, but due to the tight spaces and sheer volume of carts, heavy gridlock does occur. Also, they are not opposed to running down tourists in their way so I do not recommend bringing a large family to the fish market otherwise little Timmy might become roadkill.

While I did miss the tuna auctions, I did happen to catch the fish cart men delivering tuna from the auction to the stalls. I passed by this man hacking away at the just purchased tuna and was floored by how huge these tuna are. That sword is the size of the dude for crying out loud. Insane.

The stalls themselves are very tightly spaced but it was an incredible experience walking around them from opening time around 4am to fully operational at 6am. I must have passed the same stalls at least 10 times but since they are always bringing in fresh fish it seemed like I was passing a brand new market stall. Extremely satisfied with my morning journey, I decided to head out and grab some as fresh as you can possibly get sushi near the fish market.

So I decided to step up from the hard-working but surely outdated Canon 20D and bought a Canon 5D Mark II. Above is a picture of the fake burger I bought in Tokyo’s Kappabashi district. Yep, that is a fake burger. I’m so excited to shoot with this new camera.

So for my first night in Tokyo, let me paint you a picture. I arrive off the plane and take the wrong train BACK to the airport. Nice. I then get into the Tokyo train station and, not being one of those dudes who can’t ask for directions, begged an information clerk to tell me how to get to my hotel in the Ginza district. I somehow get on the right train but get off 2 stops early because everything is a lot less English-friendly than I thought. I get into the taxi cab with the one taxi driver who doesn’t know where he is going so we circle the neighborhood for 15 minutes when the ride should have been two. Finally I arrive at the hotel, disembark all my luggage in my room and end my adventure to my ROOM.

I visited the Shinjuku district for a little bit but head back to Ginza to get some grub close to my hotel. I spent an hour walking around being picky about where to go when finally I stumbled across the Brasserie Lion, a place my tour books all recommend for its fair prices and great beer selection. Score.

I sit down in this smokey den of a meathouse and I’m handed a menu with no discerning characters. Waiting 20 minutes to be served, I oddly realize you must push a button for the waiters to come over. Otherwise, they just leave you alone to eat and drink or, in my case, be confused while acting cool about it. I end up pointing at this noodle dish with what looked like beef on it. Note: MOST of my Tokyo experience involved this kind of ordering. It was exciting, mysterious and the rare time, a poor judgment choice.

This glorious dish arrives shortly after my huge Kirin Beer. This gorgeous looking dish contained some stir fried noodles, beef and a fried egg on top. The portions were huge for only ten bucks and I did not leave Lion with any room left in my stomach.